Honestly I think one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself is to separate your negative qualities from your identity.
Instead of saying “I’m lazy,” saying “I’ve made a habit of not doing work unless it’s absolutely necessary.” Instead of saying “I’m a bad friend,” saying “I haven’t communicated as much as I should with the people I care about.”
By being specific about your problems, and by framing it as an action that you are consciously either working on or ignoring rather than an unchangeable part of who you are, you allow yourself to accept your mistakes and work constructively on them instead of pretending they didn’t happen or wallowing in blaming yourself.
“I take great care of myself by carefully shutting myself away.”— Vincent van Gogh, Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh
ppl like the idea of you, but chances are they’re not ready to handle the reality of you